For many people, the past can be a series of happy and joyful thoughts. But for the rest of us, the past is something we constantly work at to intentionally forget. There’s no denying that the past can hurt. Life occurrences can be very strange, random and strong. When traumatic events happen it makes a big impact to our innocent psyche just to leave us with a big deep bloody scar. However, just because you went through life on the alternative side of the path, it doesn’t mean you’re less of a person or less valuable. It means you were/are strong enough to endure life and brave enough to be here today.
I only say this because I always thought I had myself figured out and strongly believed my dark past was something that didn’t bother me anymore. But in reality, I was just digging a deeper hole into my sanity by strongly trying to forget it all. However just recently, I let the cat out of the bag and said what I had to say about the truth. I finally let it out, Victoria’s secret, in which I held onto for 17 years. Once I actually said it out loud though, I felt better. I felt like the curse became broken and now I can be my normal Victoria self. I wasn’t cured of the bruise but I felt more hopeful for the future. See I think once you admit your past and come to terms with it, only then can you move on.
So here I am starting from square one again. I’ve been wandering within my mind trying to make sense of everything. And I realize that I’m not scared anymore. I feel liberated to be who I am and who I want to be. The worst already happened so I know I have nothing to be afraid of. When you’re trying to conceal a dark secret all you can think about is how not to let it out. But since it’s all said and done now, there’s nothing to hide anymore. Living with no secrets feels like the best thing in the world because I know I am actually living it.
Peace, Love & Happiness. Your girl, Victoria