“Some of them want to use you.”
I‘m all about honesty. The only way to be honest with the world is by being honest with yourself. If you don’t have inner peace than how can you truly possess peace and harmony. I believe beauty comes from within. You can probably get your foot in the door of someone’s heart by your exterior but the interior is how you stay.
Growing up, people and bullies would stomp on my interior. And I let them kick it because I didn’t know the other side. As a result, I saw myself as the freak they saw me to be. But the old saying is true, “it gets better in time”. It truly does! At the moment, it may seem like this is the end of the world, but it’s not. In fact, the situation is just preparing you for what’s ahead.
After long walks and meditation, I have learned to love myself for the all the crazy, weird and odd that I am. I’m an odd ball of beauty and proud of it. It’s not like I don’t have any periods in my life where I’m second guessing myself but for the most part I’m confident in my own skin. Can I just tell you~ Nothing feels more freeing than being yourself in any situation. It’s like you don’t have to think one thing and then say another because you feel like you have to conceal something. Suddenly it feels like work just to connect with people.
And when you finally get to the point of self assuredness, you will come to realize that there are people in this world who will try their best to bring you down. These people come in all shapes and sizes. I hate to say this but it is true. We all have different past experiences and as a result, a different time frame of getting to the point of finding that inner peace. So recently, I found myself in a situation as such. At the moment, I didn’t know that I was being internally put down but after months, I became to realize that I was letting myself fall into that trap again like when I was growing up. In a way, it felt comfortable because it felt like ‘home’. Suddenly, my time and effort was being consumed with thinking about it and I forgot that, at the end of the day, I’m essentially living for myself. I was disappointed that I allowed myself to let someone else determine my happiness. But I’ve learned to check myself to see if this is where I want to be and who I am. Since I’ve been through that trap before, I was prepared for it this time.
So for a period of time this summer, I lost myself in NYC. I let the people define me and I lost my perspective. Especially when you are new to a place, people will try to take advantage of that. It’s truly a wicked game. This is why I’m writing this. I want you to check yourself and see if you are being true to yourself. You deserve to love yourself before anyone else.
Are you who you are, today? Comment below and let’s start a conversation!
Peace, Love & Happiness. Your Girl, Victoria Song.
Quote: Eurythmics, “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)”